Showing posts with label agape. Show all posts
Showing posts with label agape. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Creat Your Life On Purpose- God and the Law of Attraction
Create Your Life On Purpose-God and the Law of Attraction
I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY
My Disclaimer-What I am about to write is what I believe. It is not an invitation for an argument or designed to antagonise anybody. It is my expression of truth as I know it. I’m sure it will continue to expand as I evolve and grow more deeply into the Love of God. If what is read brings any offence, it is unintentional and therefore rests upon the shoulders of the one who has been offended. If you don’t like it, or it upsets you, don’t read my stuff. Go write your own stuff.
If you read this and have questions, I’d love to answer them. But I am not going to answer accusations or attacks-should any come, because those people are not looking to understand where I’m coming from, they are simply wanting a platform to outshout me. Well, I won’t shout back, I’ll just hit ‘delete’, so spare us all, please. Yes, just covering myself here Lol
Humour me.
A LONG time ago (and people like to argue about how long, because in majoring on the minors, they can be distracted from the whole point!)... anyway, as I said, a long time ago, the Universe came into being...
It’s All a Set Up
A certain ‘person’, who many of us that like him affectionately term God, set up the way things should be. The entire creation exuded forth from God’s essence as ‘the work of his hands’ like a potter with his clay. (We humans also came forth from God, bearing his likeness even to the point of sharing in his function of consciousness but like a baby, developed a capacity to hold an individual state of consciousness.) And that which came through his creation bears his characteristics. And they are CONSISTENT characteristics. These traits are known to scholars as the Natural Laws of Science. They are referred to by lovers of God as the nature of God.
In Proverbs 3:19-20 it says,
By wisdom the Lord laid the earth’s foundations,
Thru understanding, He set the heavens in place,
Thru knowledge the mountains were formed and
The clouds let drop their dew.
I love how in the French version, the meanings of wisdom, understanding and knowledge are more fully clarified. For one thing, the word ‘knowledge’ is la science.
Let me state this here:
God and Science have never been and never will be in enmity to each other. The religious bollocks that are threatened by Science do not know this Creator God. They serve a man-made one who is riddled with contradictions and so can easily topple...and hence feels threat just like any other fragile ego.
God set everything up to flow and function within his laws of construction...the natural order of things.
Unfortunately, it has taken Science and technology some time to catch up to these ‘laws’ and get around to inventing machinery that can “SEE” these invisible laws in greater fullness. So Science was being touted as the be all and end all of truth but it was always a very limited view, being restricted by what could be measured and somehow seen. The instruments were not around that could see what was beyond humankind’s capacity to view with a naked eye.
Today, we have far superior equipment and science is now bearing out spiritual truths and discovering that the very things they had known, such as ‘energy’, were actually references to God by another name and make sense inside an even more amazing and vast context.
The Purpose of Symbolism and Myth and the Power of Metaphor
So, to recap, God created everything, seen and unseen according to his Wisdom, Understanding and [Science]. One example of God’s perfectly imperfect precision is reflected in the galaxies and planetary orbits. Did you know that a day is not actually 24 hours long? It fluctuates all year. Mankind just rounded it off at an average that could be easily measured for management purposes. Nothing wrong with that, but TIME is not God’s invention. That’s why it can be changed whenever a dude in an office decides it’s a good idea. However, all the fancy workings in the world couldn’t get it worked out so well, so the time managers have to ‘bodgey the books’ every four years and add a day to bring things into balance.
lol-I love that! Creative accounting.
Here’s the thing, Biblical language is often symbolic. Jesus spoke in parables. The Old Testament stories are written as a ‘type’ or metaphor-so it says in the New Testament. It was never about proving it literally or figuratively true-another distraction-but simply to get a desired point across. I know some Bible fundamentalists may hate this, but it doesn’t actually matter if the Garden of Eden is literally true or not, and to get caught up in such arguments is a total waste of time, coz it completely obscures the whole point!
The accounts presented are for us to understand something about ourselves and our connection with God that will lead us into liberty. Fighting over fact will never do that. Freedom is FELT. It is experienced. It is known. Just like God. If we read with an open heart, see God’s wisdom, understand its application and how to use the laws to apply it, we will be able to create in like fashion.
Proverbs 24:3-4
By wisdoma house is built
By understanding, it is established
By knowledgeit’s rooms are filled
With rare and beautiful treasures’.
We are given access to the very same tools with which to create our little world inside God’s big world. And that, in my opinion, is why we are here.
God’s Mould and Our PlayDough-co-labourers together with God
Everything-absolutely EVERYTHING- owes its existence to God, or ENERGY.
In him we live and move and have our being. Acts 17:28
It is God in us who causes us to will and to do according to his good purpose.Phil 2:13
What scientists didn’t get that the metaphysicians and lovers of God did, is that Energy is an Intelligence and it LOVES. By our definition of the word-IT IS GOOD. It is ONLY good. Where we do not see what we consider to be good, we are witnessing the effects of the delusion of a separated consciousness. After 1000s of years of such delusion, the planet is reeling. Humanity is interacting with creation-in every way, a symbiotic relationship.
The Bible puts it in these terms
19 For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. 20 For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.
22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit,groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies.
I’ll cover more of this verse another time but my point is that as man evolves, the planet will be restored as well. Global warming will no longer exist the day that enough of humanity cease to believe it needs to. At present, much of the population feel we must ‘pay’ for our abuse of the planet and suffer global warming for it (consequences), but the more people that understand that our connection with God and each other and understanding our ability to use wisdom, understanding and knowledge in Love come together, the planet will respond.
It will manifest the healing of the imagined rift between God and man, which only exists in each individual’s thoughts that are somehow separate from God’s. The evidence of conscious connection with God is the confidence in GOD’s Goodness and it is this goodness that will ultimately fill all.
The Reason “Evil” Exists
To begin let me explain what evil is, in some of my terms.
Evil is that which is opposed to good, some say. But really, evil is better understood as misaligned with good. Or ‘m’aligned’. It is actually the separation from the flow of good. And it abides in the judgmental ego of mankind. The only reason that ego exists is because, in order to be considered truly free, humanity must have a representation of two options.
The Bible uses language like Life and Death, Blessings and Cursings, Love and Fear, Mercy and Judgment, Light and Dark. But these dichotomies are notopposing forces. There is no competition. No battle. Just as Light easily and instantly dispels darkness, so Love drives out fear and mercy triumphs over judgment. The supposed polarised force is actually the absence of acknowledgment of the only true power. And it is an absence that exists only in the mind of a person who chooses separation from all that is GOD. (col 1:21 Enemies in our minds...)Or more simply-chooses to align with something contrary to the Love of God. We can be aligned in one area and not in another. Be aligned in one moment and not in another. At whatever point we are, we create our lives from there.
18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. I John4:18
12 Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom,13 because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment .James 2:12-14
(The law that gives freedom is Love and Grace, under which there is no judgment because all is made ‘right’ through being aligned with God Rom 5-8. Someone who is still showing judgement that condemns or demands some kind of punishment is demonstrating that they are still separate from grace in their thinking and hence still under man’s law and therefore will still experience judgment and a sense of condemnation from their own ego! Their own hearts condemn them, I John 3:19-20not God, because they are not aligned to experience God’s goodness).
The whole earth is filled with His glory does not mean what some people think about slaying the ‘unrighteous’. We won’t need to-they will wipe themselves out! Anyone who isn’t aligned with Love, Mercy, Life, Grace etc, cuts themselves off from the flow that will keep them alive, so they will create circumstances of fear, judgement, death and law –to their own destruction. It’s not the wrath of God. God’s judgment means the restoration of creation to ‘rightness’. All things brought back into balance and to their original state. This is the true meaning of judgment. It is to make right but not by punishment and penalty, but by restoration.
And that’s why God reconciled himself to man through Jesus. So humanity could concede the possibility of being ONE with God again. Without the bloodshed, human thinking could not get free of its own condemnation and laws. God didn’t need the blood, people did.
Full Circle- Created in the Image of the Creator God.
And here’s the point. We, humanity as a whole, are creating the death, the cursing, the fearful situations, the condemnation and the judgment and even the disasters-not God. Humanity, who has been pointing the finger and blaming someone else since the beginning of time, has only itself to blame. It's time to accept responsibility and live in the freedom we were born to!
How are we, who are grasshoppers in the land of giants, doing this? -By working the laws of established creation in ignorance. Instead of seeking to understand them and how we can align with all that is good and desirable and thereby create a beautiful life for ourselves we hold, en masse, to the notion of being helpless victims under constant threat of siege and annihilation that must fight and struggle for survival. It is Ego and the idea of being, or having, a separate identity that is fighting for control. But like all parasites, it brings death to its host.
The Bible proclaims the number of the Beast portrayed in Revelations as 666.
This calls for wisdom. Let the person who has insight calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a* man ( footnote*or humanity’s number). That number is 666. Revelations 13:18
It’s the greatest scapegoat scam in human history, a ploy of Ego(separate consciousness) to preserve itself by keeping people in darkened, powerless thinking- imprisoned by their right to choose, whilst simultaneously losing sight of the choices available. Punishment is not God’s response to such as these. Illumination is. EPH 1:18 Wisdom, understanding and knowledge.
Demonstrated in those willing to live it ever more fully, as they grow in it.
Bottom line: It’s not a question of doing what God wants, but about aligning to your own heart’s desires and acquiring them through the established set up of wisdom, understanding, knowledge and love.
I believe that that IS God living in and through you, creating together with you AS ONE to build your life.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
On Being In Love
God is Love. Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in him.-I Jn 4: 16b
When a person is in love, they are engaging with God on a different level.
Love has to be both one of the singularly most misunderstood states on the planet , yet the most universally and profoundly grasped concept of humankind.
This Love is agape (Gk- a-ga-pay)
Relationships are the ultimate place to give and receive love. But broken people cannot give or receive love easily. When God\'s love is shed abroad in the human heart, bringing healing,love can flourish freely and fearlessly."
Agape is the daddy of all loves and at different times is given expression in all the other delightful forms we have come to think of as 'love' (and many we have not!). But the premium, set apart quality of Agape is that it "seeks nothing in return". This kind of love , in whichever form it is expressed longs only to be expressed. It lives only to be surrendered and even so, loses nothing of itself in the doing so. It preserves all parties intact whilst simultaneously having the ability to make whole those that are broken. Where it is received, rocks sing-believe it!
This kind of Love is too good to be true!
But it is true!
The Love of God is the creative force of the universe. It sustains all things and is the energy that IS all things, including the space between all things.
The wisest thing I ever did was believe that God was in love with me. It turned my world upside down and inside out and connected me with a Presence that I could literally feel delighting in my company.
"Listen, o daughter, consider and give ear.
Forget your people and your father's house.
The king is enthralled with your beauty
Honour him, for he is your Lord" Ps 45:10-11
The king is enthralled by my beauty...wow!
The first verses that came alive to me from my Bible, were all like this, telling me of how intoxicatingly in love with me God is. Not with a love like anything I'd known (Ez 16:1-14). Not to use me or abuse me or exploit me or jealously possess me but to adore me, uplift me, adorn me, honour me. As I gazed upon His beauty, drawn in by his love, he showed me a truer reflection of myself and I fell in love again( 2 Cor 3:18. I love the "love version of Lisa". I choose to live there! That's what I call "Agapeism" now. It takes a bit of practise, but the more I see how God loves me and believe it, the more those same beautiful qualities flow from deep within me, where God and I play together in the garden (SS 4:15-5:1).
About 25 years ago, as I rode a train through Sydney's inner west, I was quietly conversing with God. At one point I asked for reassurance saying "If I could just know that you love me..." ( As in feel it as real) At that moment, I looked up and out the window. We were passing flat concrete blank walls of old terraces backing up to the railway line. Blank , that is, but for the graffiti. And there before me, sliding by on a wall, these words:
"I Love you, Lisa"
I was flooded with the experience of KNOWING God's love for me again, just as I was the first time I read Ps 45:10-11 and felt the inner witness of it being spoken right then to me. I can choose to relive the reality of this love in my emotions as often as I please. And I do. And so, more 'love notes' come in a variety of expressions. God loves me! I'm a being in the state of love and a love-being, a god-being and have my being in God. And I'm enveloped in love, one with God in this love state of being.
I believe God has given me the gift of being able to help others experience this truth in a deep, life changing, soul healing and undeniable way and I intend to do just that. So, to "whosoever will" out there who wants to know God's love for them this way...hang around. I guarantee, if this is your desire and if you hunger for it, you will be filled.
Lisa IN Oz
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Living In Love ( Agapeism)
Running Themes
I can look over my life right up till today and see various themes playing out. I can view the events and growth from the perspective of Truth/Lies, Love/Fear, Judgement/Righteousness and so on. I have experienced wonderful enablings and giftings and talents, known healings and miracles, given and received prophecies, wisdom and knowledge and enjoyed an intimacy with God that never fails to bring my heart into utter surrender-since I was a preschooler.
Where Everything Felt Right
I wanted to be so much ONE with God coz when I was in that conscious space, I could feel the freedom from all earthly concern. Even through all of these things, I've never enjoyed the reality of God/me in the way I am now. It was a dream and a desire and the goal of my life but one of those waaaayy too good to happen things beyond how good it felt and why would it happen for me, type deals.. and yet, I'd been the recipient of so much already.
When I divorced, I felt I'd disqualified myself. Nothing could be further from the truth. I was struggling to forgive myself for doing what I had allocated as the unforgivable sin for me ( what hogswallop!). I had failed MY expectations. A person can never fail by following their heart...it will lead them to their truth if they are willing to accept it as so and allow the growth. Living a lie and pretending to be happy is unacceptable. So much better to "fail" authentically than to "succeed" as a fraud. We can find our true sense of worth the first way, but will despise ourselves for our own lack of integrity the latter way.
The ONLY Place that Felt Right...or felt TRUE
I have an INNER DRIVING for this authenticity that I cannot begin to explain. On the one hand I wish it on everyone, on the other, I know the journey it will mean. But once it has a hold of you, there is no peace but being on it-no matter where it leads you. And the reason it lives in me is coz I know I will never be content with a pseudo faith. I have to have the real thing. Otherwise I feel I would spend my whole life trying to protect my "archilles' heel", and this would end up taking over. My whole life would be built around the consciousness of that weakness. Shudder! What a thought!
So, in keeping with current themes of Love/Fear...I've had so many lessons in this stuff. When I had a break down and suffered Alopecea ( stress induced baldness) fear was on the rise again in my life and threatened to engulf me. I remembered David and despaired of having the courage to run at this giant. I knew what to do, I even knew how but I still spent 3 and 1/2 yrs (collected some incredible stories and personal experiences in the process) suffering with my "silent anguish". Till one day, I'd had enough and refused to accommodate fear any more. This is when I felt that courage begin to show and I had peace from then on, immersed in the truth. But 6 months in, a new bald spot appeared and none had grown over. I already knew I'd need to believe in the face of current conditions but to see more could've undone me. I wasted no time turning it around. Didn't reason, just turned back to the truth that had given me peace and decided I'd rather have that and be bald than the other way. But I was still focussed on wholeness..let the hair take care of itself. I said, "If I can do this, I can do anything". That's when God reminded me of David again and showed me my own courage at running at the fear giant.
Giant Slaying Faith
I passed through that hump in strength in one evening and powered on to a full head of hair ( took another 18 months for it all to grow back, but I had peace and joy and that "blessed assurance" all that time.) A pseudo faith just doesn't give you that! It cannot give you a ROCK to stand on.
I have committed and recommitted again and again to this process of LIVING free of fear. I've never stopped progressing but what I'm enjoying now is that which is what I once saw from afar and at times wondered if I could ever be: myself as the dwelling place of God, and God as my dwelling place. I live in Him and He lives in me.Not just as a theoretical truth, but reality...and the confidence this fusion brings.
This is my security. My fortress, my strong-tower, my refuge, my rock, my secret place, my garden of love and singing and worship. I just haven't been able to find that sense of intimacy and connection without seeing God as someone consciously separate that chooses oneness with me as I do with him. My God-self is different for me-that's my spirit.
Shameless Surrender =Glorious Success
Some speak of Source or God as that spirit part of themselves and if that works for them- great. But for me, I need to know that God is in love with me and that's why I can surrender my heart. My spirit, I know, is just like God and that is where we fuse and then flow as one through all extended parts of my being.
For me, I need to be hid in someone bigger than myself. I need to be part of something bigger than myself. And the paradox of that is, I find a largeness and fullness I knew was there but couldn't access before.
This is what works for me :-)
I am so excited and expectant of what lies ahead!
love to you all
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Where You Least Expect It

I'm not touting any specific religion now, but I found this truth written here, so I'm quoting from this source.
In the Bible, there are several very well known and oft spouted verses from I COR 13:4-8. These verses describe the characteristics of AGAPE (uncondtional) love..or...the nature of God/Source...Who is LOVE.
But just before these verses, there are a few other, more rarely mentioned ones. i put them in a song like this:
"If I could speak in the tongues of men,
or have dialogue with the angels
If i have the gift of prophecy,
or can fathom all life's mysteries
and by faith, move mountains in the sea...
...but if I have not Love, I am nothing
If i have not Love, I gain nil
I can take all I've got , and give it to the poor
but if I have not Love- i need more.
I can surrender my body, to the flames,
But if I have not Love, it's in vain."
In other words, it's never about WHAT YOU DO. It's always about WHY YOU DO IT.
WHEN LOVE IS THE SEED
When Love is the reason WHY you do something, what grows is inkeeping.
You cannot grow an apple tree, from an orange seed. You cannot grow a plentiful AGAPE harvest, from an erroneous martyrdom.
Look closely at the base of this strange looking cactus, which I called "Gringo".
Carved into its base are the words " I love ( heart shape) U". One Christmas, when my resourceful young son was staying in Sydney for his holidays, and discovered this heart shaped piece of cactus plant. He determined it would make the perfect gift for me. So he engraved his heart onto the fleshy green plant, popped in it a pot full of Horsley Park brick clay, and presented it to me for Christmas.
I brought it back in the car to Queensland, and it travelled from home to home( 3 times in that following year). But come October, it sprouted a new shoot. One of the oddest looking plants to be sure-the Prickley Pear, but I was very attached to this one, coz it came with Love. When Matt saw what the 'heart' had done, he was dumbfounded.
It never occurred to him, that given a good bed of the right kind of soil, his 'heart' would put down roots, and actually grow. He had only thought it would be as a vase of flowers, and the message it bore, a transient note that would wither with time, having first delivered his genuine sentiment.
But...
LOVE NEVER FAILS
As those verses say (ICOR 13:8)
"Love never fails", passes out, becomes obsolete, fades away, or comes to an end.
Love doesn't die. Nor it's message ever become devoid of power or meaning.
Everything is energy. LOVE is that energy. IT cannot die...it simply changes form and expression.
Love produces fruit that will LAST. All that is of love will endure forever, coz it is already in its purist form. It is already fully "alchemized" ( my new word)
All that is not Love will fall away, temporal yielding to eternal.
SOW HERE, YIELD THERE
I just noticed something very interesting. We use the phrase "yield a harvest".
Even when I sow Love, I must learn to yield, in order to receive the harvest Love has for me.
I ALLOW my harvest to come to me. Not demand it in a specific mode. If I insist that it be a certain way, I could well REJECT the harvest the Universe intended to satisfy the cry of my heart.
If I remain open and yielded ( Zero Resistence), I will receive all I could hope and MORE. Coz what is of Love is of Life and will keep on growing.
Everything is ENERGY and WE ARE ALL ONE. We are one energy field.
It may look like we've been sowing our Love seed for all the right reasons in one corner, only to have it spring forth in a far distant, and unlikely corner. But when we consider that it is all ONE energy field...it isn't surprising at all. We are sowing Love,and reaping Love's fruit-where and how we need it.
JACK's MAGIC BEANS
Love's deeds are the the magic seeds to satify all my conceived needs...and deepest desires! :-)
It doesn't matter what I do. If I do it in the true spirit of Agape, all I could possibly hope for myself will be carried forth in and through it as well.
Whatever expression Love needs to take to bring its fulness into my life, is the form it will take to emerge into my experience.
Love will bring me ALL I need to utilize EVERY moment to sow and grow more love.
I will always have a pocketful of magical, miracle working beans...
or, as the case may be, the ability to embed my heart in a cactus, and bring forth a blossoming love life.
Thanks Matt ( my boy). Tags: agape, cactus, corinthians, gift, gringo, heart, love, magicbeans, why, yield
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Emergence of Love's Full Bloom
The Proof is in the Pudding
This week I have had the enormous pleasure of
grasping truths that I have long sought to master.
Many years ago, when I was 16 ( 3 decades!), I had to walk home to my mother's house in the dark. I was always terribly afraid, when I was young, of being abducted, raped...hurt etc. There were reasons why I had this fear, but I wanted to be free of it.
I didn't have to walk a long way, but it was late, and over a creek bridge, and past parkland. I wanted to run all the way, but as I went, I remembered a song I'd learnt as a 10 yr old. It went like this:
"If you know the Lord,
you need nobody else,
to see you through the darkest night.
You can walk alone.
You only need the Lord.
he'll keep you on the Road marked Right
Take time to pray, every day,
and when you're heading home, He'll show you the way.
if you know the Lord,
you need nobody else
to see the light, his wonderful light."
I guess you could say this became the theme of my life.
I always loved God. ALways talked to him, and heard him speak to me, from when I was really young. As I sang this song, I MADE myself walk. "If I believe really believe this. " i told myself, "then I don't have to run".
I still felt scared, but I SOOO wanted to believe.
LESSON LEARNT
The reason I bring this up here, is because I spent all those years, a little at a time, a layer at a time, working that faith through my entire psyche. My whole life has been about proving to myself that I really believe what I believe. I tested myself, over and over, pushed myself to prove to myself that I trusted the goodness of God. That I would give ALL believing, rather than accept fear and doubt.
I want to learn. I want to grow. I want to expand and be more than I am NOW...always.
I'm addicted to stretching and challenging myself to believe MORE, BIGGER, FURTHER.
I know it's all about LOVE. About Agape. "There is no fear in love, for perfect Love drives out fear".
I remember a moment, when I said "God, I just wanna be in love!" I wanted to feel alive and happy and exhilerated and passionate. Now, if you know me, you'd know that's how I live, but I needed a new level. I always need a new level. Always so hungry.
Not for anyone, or anything...from within, for God. For LOVE.
"Whoever lives in love, lives in God and God in him"
Being ONE with Source has been my conscious lifelong endeavour. God/Love is always the answer to every question for me.
I am a worshipper.
I am not 'religious', or 'pious' as most would think it, but I am devoted to being in total harmony with Source/the Universe/God, and I have known the sweetest place in his heart, in that state. I have felt so known and adored by God. Even so, it has taken me all this time, to come to a place, where I feel like I am working together with God, without resistence. I am empty of it. I see it now, and let it go.
It was a process of layers, recognising fear, and yeilding, and I didn't do as well as I wanted, coz I still felt the fear. Then , I discovered that I could cease resisting fear, and that has been the freedom I sought.
Understanding how resistence has played a part in perpetuating the things I so feared, or worried about,and then, learning to really 'read' the signs that revealed resistence for what it was, these have been golden lanterns on my path.
This whole exercise has been about being fully love.
For so long I have looked for this moment. For so long, I have wanted to BE where I am NOW.
And I'm not suggesting that my growth in any way is done, but this state of "righteousness", this state of KNowing I am ONE with God, and that all He is, is me, and all I am is him...this fullness that I now LIVE in (most of the time), it is my DREAM COME TRUE.
Everything that it makes available is well and good, and empowers me to minister these Truths much more effectively, but nothing compares, for me, to where I find myself with God and the worshipper's heart that I've known has exploded in a whole new way.
I'm in love...again...and even more deeply.
This week I have had the enormous pleasure of

Many years ago, when I was 16 ( 3 decades!), I had to walk home to my mother's house in the dark. I was always terribly afraid, when I was young, of being abducted, raped...hurt etc. There were reasons why I had this fear, but I wanted to be free of it.
I didn't have to walk a long way, but it was late, and over a creek bridge, and past parkland. I wanted to run all the way, but as I went, I remembered a song I'd learnt as a 10 yr old. It went like this:
"If you know the Lord,
you need nobody else,
to see you through the darkest night.
You can walk alone.
You only need the Lord.
he'll keep you on the Road marked Right
Take time to pray, every day,
and when you're heading home, He'll show you the way.
if you know the Lord,
you need nobody else
to see the light, his wonderful light."
I guess you could say this became the theme of my life.
I always loved God. ALways talked to him, and heard him speak to me, from when I was really young. As I sang this song, I MADE myself walk. "If I believe really believe this. " i told myself, "then I don't have to run".
I still felt scared, but I SOOO wanted to believe.
LESSON LEARNT
The reason I bring this up here, is because I spent all those years, a little at a time, a layer at a time, working that faith through my entire psyche. My whole life has been about proving to myself that I really believe what I believe. I tested myself, over and over, pushed myself to prove to myself that I trusted the goodness of God. That I would give ALL believing, rather than accept fear and doubt.
I want to learn. I want to grow. I want to expand and be more than I am NOW...always.
I'm addicted to stretching and challenging myself to believe MORE, BIGGER, FURTHER.
I know it's all about LOVE. About Agape. "There is no fear in love, for perfect Love drives out fear".
I remember a moment, when I said "God, I just wanna be in love!" I wanted to feel alive and happy and exhilerated and passionate. Now, if you know me, you'd know that's how I live, but I needed a new level. I always need a new level. Always so hungry.
Not for anyone, or anything...from within, for God. For LOVE.
"Whoever lives in love, lives in God and God in him"
Being ONE with Source has been my conscious lifelong endeavour. God/Love is always the answer to every question for me.
I am a worshipper.
I am not 'religious', or 'pious' as most would think it, but I am devoted to being in total harmony with Source/the Universe/God, and I have known the sweetest place in his heart, in that state. I have felt so known and adored by God. Even so, it has taken me all this time, to come to a place, where I feel like I am working together with God, without resistence. I am empty of it. I see it now, and let it go.
It was a process of layers, recognising fear, and yeilding, and I didn't do as well as I wanted, coz I still felt the fear. Then , I discovered that I could cease resisting fear, and that has been the freedom I sought.
Understanding how resistence has played a part in perpetuating the things I so feared, or worried about,and then, learning to really 'read' the signs that revealed resistence for what it was, these have been golden lanterns on my path.
This whole exercise has been about being fully love.
For so long I have looked for this moment. For so long, I have wanted to BE where I am NOW.
And I'm not suggesting that my growth in any way is done, but this state of "righteousness", this state of KNowing I am ONE with God, and that all He is, is me, and all I am is him...this fullness that I now LIVE in (most of the time), it is my DREAM COME TRUE.
Everything that it makes available is well and good, and empowers me to minister these Truths much more effectively, but nothing compares, for me, to where I find myself with God and the worshipper's heart that I've known has exploded in a whole new way.
I'm in love...again...and even more deeply.
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