From Conception to Fruition-Here & NOW

Below is an excerpt from some of my very recent journalling.
I've been trying to 'see' and understand the next step, so I can face this giant and move on! Trying to control the process perhaps LOL what a jokE! I get all flustered, and out of peace..it's obvious I only know one healthy state o function in and from ... HERE
Here.mp3
And now, I've written this intro, from after what I wrote below, so I see more clearly. And I believe I have found what I need to continue and maintain what is needed for things to move forward in the highest possible way for all. Another firm underpinning of insight. Nothing new...yet empowers with the freshness of new life. YUM!
The Great Wall
Hmm... this is the sense of “impenetrable” I find whenever I turn to go a certain way.
Instead of thinking of this as being a wall of resistance built from fear, I’m starting to take the view that it is a hemming in of my way brought about by wisdom’s guidance, if for no other reason than it will lead me by the swiftest path to the fruition of my desires. This may not change what I face, but it changes the face of what I see.
If I sit down to write because I think I should...NOTHING. ZILCH. Forced or lesser quality. Just doesn’t hit the mark...falls short. That’s the definition of ‘sin’. So maybe what I’m trying to do is ‘not of faith’ for “whatever is not of faith”-is sin. Hmmm...now this thought is REALLY interesting.
Same with drawing, same with singing and music...and the thing is it’s only like that when I’m doing it for the reason of feeling I “should”. UGH!!!
When I’m a naturally productive mode, it flows huge BUT IT’S ALL PART OF REAL LIFE. And I think this could be the crux of it. I don’t want to prepare messages. I want to deliver them in the moment. I have just WAaaaaaayyyy too much to try and cover if I try to do things logically and I become literally overwhelmed. But when faced with an opportunity or presented with a theme-I can run with that! It’s the principle of having structure to foster creativity. I can do it on a small scale, like I did with DIY blogs, and then compile them. And only for a season, in response to inspiration. I cannot IMPOSE the structure. But I’m better with a novel where life lessons are presented all out of linear logic and applied personally.
As soon as I get a good idea, I’m all excited but it goes nowhere. Nothing wrong with all my ideas! They’re awesome. And they’re endless! But I cannot seem to stay with them. They have the feeling of being 2 degrees off truth. I’ve thought that perhaps I’ve had fears to overcome and I’m sure I have. But thinking of them as fears to overcome makes it harder somehow. Whereas thinking of these ideas as directions that I’ve chosen as strategies to avoid the total commitment to the exact bearings for my life-this alters my take on it. This exposes them as diversions. And it makes me realise that it is utter futility to even try to succeed with a goal that was never 100% me.
When have I seriously never felt 2 degrees off-EVER?  When I’m connecting! With God , with people, with nature, with creativity...
I was born to worship. My life is about being one with God in conscious awareness.
I KNOW WHAT IT IS!!!
I am a responder, not an initiator.( The power of the Feminine)
My ministry in word, whether written or spoken, is a response to someone and their situation,  unless it is a story. My blogs are accounts of “Show’n’Tell”. They are my response to the life experience I’m having.
To try and write content with all the answers before I’ve been asked the questions...this I struggle with. There is no impetus in that for me. It’s theoretical-lacking the essence of life. I need to be working on the edge of the universal expansion where life is being created right NOW.
I am an addict of creation. :-)
I cannot make a generic self-help book that is good for all. I have to do a personal one. If that person shares it around, as people have with my letters, that’s fine but I can’t write it that way. I seem to need to write it TO someone, if I’m going to have decent quality to it.
I’m personal, like God.
And I need to be out responding to people.
The INSTANT I try to “initiate” something, I am out of sync with myself. This is definitely the matter.
Now, when I feel I am “waiting on God” this is not like waiting for a train to come. To “wait on God” is to minister to him, to give him my attention, to recount truths I’ve learnt from him, to ponder his nature etc.  And it is always a response to the love and grace and goodness I’m receiving from him. It is appreciation, gratitude, honour, respect, value, love and awe. Waiting on God is an active response...not a passive thumb twiddling exercise.
It is from this place of intimacy I intuitively receive insight, instruction and inspiration. (This is where the piano playing came from) And it is from this place that I must move forward. To shift gears is to fall out of sync and be that two degrees off again. It’s not like God gives me a plan whilst we’re communing and then says, “um take this out into the world with you and find a way to do it. I’ve given you the plan...you take it from here" Aah...no. lol
He says "here’s the plan". You look at it, look back at him, look at yourself, look back at him and say...”um, I think this was for Mother Theresa” or some other hero. “No,no, this is you, “ he says,  “but you can’t do it.[blank look]... Well, not without living Here. Constant intimate connection is the ONLY way.
Hence the song. Life in that place of connection is ALL I HAVE EVER WANTED. And this thoroughly aligns with "Cherchez premierment le royaume et la justice de Dieu, et toutes ces choses vous seront donnee par-dessus."
"Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you" This "wall" is Wisdom keeping me on the track of experiencing the fullness of this life I desire. Where God brings them to me instead of me chasing them.
And when asked, some time in the future, what I did to get from rags to riches, I will say...I believed God and like Abe, it was credited to me as righteousness( it aligned me). I gave all my energy to the "labour of entering into this rest of faith". :-)

No Luxury of A Second Opinion

Desperately Real


Many years ago, maybe  as many as 25, a preacher "spoke a word" of prophecy over me. He said  "Get desperately real with God, for you have phenomenal potential".
I already felt "desperately real" with God, making every effort with all my heart to stay consciously connected, deep in His presence and full of his truth.


What I've come to understand about a "prophetic word", when accurately delivered, is that is stays true and keeps on being true and applicable no matter the circumstances or passing of time on the human scale. 

(Me living one of my dreams)

And so today, I find myself, yet again, being reminded of this moment in my history and of my own heart's deep, deep desire to be so ONE with God that the hunger is almost painful. (and yet I wish this state upon all! lol) This "hunger" compels from a place of passion and purity within. "Deep calls to deep" the psalmist cries. ( Ps 42:7)


The key attribute of this state is a quality common to pretty much everyone, but rarely developed intentionally and where it has randomly excelled , is actually viewed as a 'disorder'. Not in my house. We're intentional with it...our Obsessive Compulsive Practises.
Yes, we've seen the down side to it, but we've also harnessed its power and applied it to be an "up" side.


Any addiction or obsession for anything or anyone is evidence of this ability. All it requires is a 100% focus on healthy content-then it will work miracles for anyone who uses it. The labour is in redirecting unruly thinking but this is entirely do-able. 


Entirely doable that is, once the commitment to "get desperate" with it is there.
W.H. Murray
Until one commits there is hesitancy, a chance to turn back, always ineffectiveness...
If you've "tried and failed", I can almost certainly guarantee it's because of lack of commitment. Somewhere along the way, you accepted a different outcome to the one you began with. You let your heart be swayed away from your goal. You were not fully persuaded which I why you were not fully committed.


Understanding The Plan
When a person commits to their dream ( Theirs alone. You cannot commit on behalf of another), there is NO plan B. The difficulty most face is determining their dream. Actually, that's not entirely true. At least, not by my experience. It is not the dream that is vague but the inability to believe it done that clouds the view.


Napoleon Hill said "Whatever the mind can conceive, and believe, the mind can achieve."
This wasn't a concept of his invention. This has been the law governing creation since God! He tapped into the knowledge of how this worked and gave his heart completely over to the process of believing it, so he could enjoy life on his own terms. He lived its truth, so he could deliver the truth with power.


With this belief as the underpinning of all he undertook he knew he could achieve anything he directed his mind toward, and proceeded to teach others likewise. Abraham in the book of Romans Chapter 4 ( from the Bible) is recorded as having done the same. The bible describes this faith as being equal to "righteousness". It is choosing to align oneself completely with universal truth.
This is Plan A and from what I can see, was the only part of the plan that was never negotiable-if you want to create the life of your desires. You will create your life regardless, but it will be chaotic and burdened with all manner of undesirable elements.


No Luxury of A Second Opinion


The most difficult aspect of living this lifestyle, for most people, seems to be the selling out of all other options. They reason with a logic akin to having a spare tyre...blow outs happen, we need a spare, a back up, insurance. There may be a relevant truth to this regarding a tyre that is material and wears out but this is not a characteristic of faith. 


And we are not left without the means to have faith. The bible says it is the gift of God and that "he has given to all ...the measure of faith". Jesus said with "faith as a mustard seed, we could move mountains" and that "anything is possible for him who believes". I want to live HERE. :-) 


What we have are counter beliefs and these throw our confidence around like a rag doll in a tempest. Once again though, we are not left without means to "fix" this. And we do it by "fixing" our hearts and minds on that which we desire. And you don't need to worry about whether God wants you to have it or not.  Romans 8 says he graciously gives us all things, all things are ours, all things pertaining to life (2Pet 1:3), every good and perfect gift from the Father of heavenly lights who does not change (Jam 1:17) And just to top it off, we are informed that God's gifts and his call are irrevocable ( Rom ) He NEVER takes them back. They are OURS to keep and do with whatever we will. So, that's settled.


As long as what we want brings no infringement on another's well being or freedom of choice, it is perfectly acceptable.
The real question here is, "Is what you want so important to you that you are willing to put everything into bringing it to fruition with regard to fully persuading your heart?" I'm not talking about doing the practical things like making a plan for your goal and following it. By all means do this too, if you wish...but FIRST become fully committed to the outcome.
Let your plan be built from this place of "Blessed Assurance" and let each step of the way be inspired action from that very same assurance. You will need it-this assurance.


If you are unsure about the way to establish your heart, I can help, but basically it is focussing your attention on the outcome and allowing yourself to believe it. When a contrary belief arises, immediately take the thought captive and bring it down by grasping the truth again. The truth that ministers to your heart and gives faith the ascendency. I have tons  of techniques that help here. The "double minded" receive nothing. You must discipline yourself to give energy and focus on that which you want. Sell out to the truth.


And finally, I'd like to leave you with the full quote of W.H. Murray and let this encourage you to commit.


Until one commits there is hesitancy, a chance to turn back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans. That the moment one definitely commits oneself then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never have otherwise occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way, I have learned a deep respect for Goerthe’s couplets; “ whatever you can do, or dream you can do , begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.”

WH Murray. Himalayan Expedition 1951

Surrender:An Act of Love

Defining Surrender

The Free on-line dictionary defines surrender as follows:

v. sur·ren·dered, sur·ren·der·ing, sur·ren·ders

v.tr.

1. To relinquish possession or control of to another because of demand or compulsion.

2. To give up in favor of another.

3. To give up or give back (something that has been granted): surrender a contractual right.

4. To give up or abandon: surrender all hope.

5. To give over or resign (oneself) to something, as to an emotion: surrendered himself to grief.

6. Law To restore (an estate, for example), especially to give up (a lease) before expiration of the term.

I want to look at surrender from the perspective of a process that takes place within ourselves. At any given point in time, I see myself as functioning out of a state of Love and wholeness or fear and lack. I consider the first to be my higher authentic(spiritual) nature and the second to be the base (carnal/natural) ego nature.

My authentic nature is lorded over by Love and this is an easy leading-not tyrannical. It's based on my own desire to live freely and truthfully, in peace and in joy. Conversely, the ego centre is driven by Fear, always concerned with preserving the sensory self, led by the desire for security and manipulated by physical conditions.

All of our human life will be plagued by this conflict unless a commitment is made to, and an understanding attained of how to operate from, this higher place of Love.

So when I speak of Surrender, I refer to the soul surrendering to Love instead of fear.

Bringing Life to Bear

I personally have given birth five times. I loved it and actually wouldn't mind doing it some more. I think I embraced the process of birth because I believed, and still do, that I was purposely designed to give birth and that some part of me knew instinctively what to do even if no conscious part did.

I was so convinced of this, that it belayed fears and settled any issues of concern without my having to understand anything logically. I had wonderful birth experiences-very swift, no stitches, no epidurals, and I had clarity to enjoy my baby afterward.

I came to see that this process as a clever metaphor for creating ALL kinds of life, whether internally in my being or externally in my world. Now, I don't think I even see it as a metaphor because I surrender to a deeper part of me, trusting that it knows how to bring forth that which is needed just as my body knew how to bring forth a healthy baby.

In recent months, I've even gone as far as not needing to understand all the reasons why I've felt afraid or unsure or confused...I replaced all other "workings out" with this simple act of "surrender and breathe, believing..." in that intuitive part of myself that is Love.

Perfect Love

The bible says "perfect love casts out fear, because fear has to do with punishment" ( I John 4:18) and today, I think I've understood this truth in a way I've never seen before and in a way I honestly NEVER conceived or expected to see. It was such a sweet surprise! And yet so typical of the paradox of life in the spirit.

In believing in the righteousness the bible says God gives ( aligning myself to God-Rom 1:16), I started to trust that whatever I was facing about myself or reflected in my body or circumstances as being what was required in order for me to allow Love to grow out, unhindered from my core. I've done this for years and made some wonderful progress by interpreting these things as indicators of what I needed to shift in my thinking/energy/being. I've seen ALL kinds of delightful results BUT...in the last few months, I found my deepest inner workings becoming far too intricate and complex to "get my head around", so to speak.

And I just didn't seem to be able to help myself past a point of SELF judgement that was keeping the best of my personal dreams at bay. That is, until I surrendered completely to humbly accepting the gift of righteousness offered to "whosoever will" believe, and in so doing, understand the great love God has for me even more. I know this may not make sense to those who are unfamiliar with the biblical teaching of righteousness but what this results in is a total release of ALL judgement. Where there is no judgement, there is no fear of punishment or sense of unworthiness either.

Things just got better and better. The more I chose to "surrender" over any other approach the more deeply a shift began to take place. I simply trusted that tried and proven process and applied it to everything. My mind, body, circumstance...I started viewing any hint of worry/fear as part of the process of Love, not fear-and governed by intuitive Wisdom, not personal sabotage. This grew inside me more and more.

Today, after a progression of insights and expanding understanding I realised this has led to the knowledge of how fear is dismissed. It is converted to another format-if you like. In shifting viewpoints, it becomes the servant of a greater good and is no longer a form of resistance, but of relinquishing. No longer a barrier to overcome or strive against but an ally toward success. And it isn't just a nice, pious idea to try and accept, but an actual STATE. Fear is no more when one lives in this place of utter SURRENDER. It is dissolved when trust is pure.

These words don't do the condition justice but with all my heart, I hope any reader will ask to experience this knowing.

"One thing I've come to accept now, is that there are no short-cuts through one's process. The shortest, quickest, fastest way between you and your dreams, is that which is being presented to you. I've stopped viewing the 'space between' as some chasm to traverse or some test to pass or some obstacle to overcome. It is what I've asked for: the process of manifesting my dream" Lisa Shah

Alignment and Separation

The following are my own ideas and beliefs and I live by them. I write about my own life experiences and findings and as they are my own, I have the right and final authority to do so. Comments are welcome and disagreement is accepted, but arguments will never be entered into.


Alignment.
What do I mean by "alignment"?
Put simply, I mean to know yourself well enough, and to be brave enough, to be able to choose how you will design your life and follow through on fulfilling that blueprint-whatever it is, or isn't. It's your choice.Alignment is therefore to live in one's authentic state. To do this, a person must first know this state.


We can be living at varying degrees of alignment with our personalities  and this can be constantly changing. But what doesn't change is the sense of peace and equilibrium , joy and contentment that we experience when we are in that place of alignment.

Admiring the majesty of a massive waterfall, looking into the face of a loved one or engaging in a practise about which we are passionate are all doorways into our own personal authenticity and conscious connection with not only ourselves, but also the Source/God from which we come.

The more time and energy we give to those things that enhance this connectivity, the more aligned we become with who we really are, the happier we feel and the more opportunity is created for such endeavours. AS simplistic as this sounds, if we would just stay on this path, we would find all our desires awaiting the fulfilling. This is my absolute conviction.

"Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you" Mt 6:33. In my previous blog , I referred to righteousness and alignment as being interchangeable. A person may align to many aspects of their beings without understanding the gift of righteousness. We are wired with talents and preferences and desires that make us who we are. In simply aligning with them, we will immediately experience a greater state of harmony.

So many people live so far away from their natural rhythms, rhymes and routines that this can be a huge difference. Still, the state of alignment that comes from relinquishing judgement is as far superior to this as gold is to copper.


Separation
What do I mean by 'separation'?
I consider separation to be a way of seeing oneself that is not congruent with the authentic state and to live out of synchrony with self, which leads to countless anomolies and raging pathologies that are so prolific as to now be considered normal. This life of "misalignment" has reached epidemic proportions.

All  supposed "enlightened" ones say much the same. It isn't just a Christian idea. But I feel Christianity, in its TRUE form addresses the problem like no other. This has been my experience.

If we go back to garden of Eden for a second, the story reveals that as soon as Adam and Eve ate of the tree of "the knowledge of good and evil", they felt guilty and wanted to hide. Separation and judgement came simultaneously.  When we are separate from our authentic selves, we are in a state of self judgement as well. It's inevitable.

No one living in their place of separation can restore the state of alignment completely. It must be done by one who is aligned. God, or Source's, authentic condition is unaffected by humanity's exploits. God alone has the capacity to re-callibrate us and has made a way for us to partake of that.
But it cannot be done via the Ego ( human effort) other than a simple willingness to allow it.

Ego and Authentic natures.
A person who wants to grow in Love and overcome their fears can get quite a long way if they are truly committed, but I feel that without this re-callibration, there will always come a point of undoing. For this is what the Law ( of sin and death) does. This is what was bought into when the fruit of that tree was bit into: the knowledge of good and evil is the awareness of JUDGEMENT.

It leads us to the knowledge that we are still suffering under judgement, experiencing separation and rejection. Not God's...for he made a way out of it, but under our own  if we do not partake of it. Our sense of Self never truly overcomes feeling unworthy, or feels fully valued or loved unconditionally.

Still we can achieve some wonderful elements of alignment as I said, in simply beginning to take time for those things that bring us deep and profound pleasure...even in simple things. Appreciation of and focus on these things will greatly improve the quality of our lives.

Ultimate Alignment
But the sense of "Resonant Recognition" that I experience in knowing myself as righteous in God, as a result of his gift ( of re-callibration) goes far beyond all this. The states I've experienced in being in oneness with Him and feeling God think my thoughts with me as his own and vice versa....this can only come from such an ultimate alignment. At least, I have known no other way. And whilst I do not claim to be in that consciousness all the time, I have known it as my own experience and more than a single freak occurrence.

In this place "resonant recognition", I feel my life path before me light up and vibrate back to me, the same way an  "A string" will respond to a 440hz tuning fork. As it leaps in recognition, so too does my path before me and I see with a certainty like never before.

The only thing I do is to stay focussed on what it means to be "the righteousness of God"-from the inside out...and as Mt 6:33 says...the rest is taken care of.