Designer Relationships

Hey All!

With Valentine's Day coming up, I thought this week's blog could focus on 'sharing the love'.

Two of my kids and my niece, and great niece, between them...we love well! (from our annual family reunion)

It Takes All Kinds

In our lives, we have all manner of relationships-from acquaintances we bump into at the shop, friends with whom we share a common interest, all the way to people we live and work with. Each of these serves a different kind of purpose and represents a different type of connection-but they all have something in common.

They all have the ability to change the way we feel.

And we have the ability to change their dynamics, so that they can all leave us feeling GOOD.

Keeping It Simple

As this is just a small space to get your attention, I'm not going labour anything, but hopefully get you thinking a bit.

There are basically two types of relationship, for all the forms they take.

Replenishing....and Draining.

Draw up a simple table with these two descriptions at the top.

Think about the people in your life.

Characteristics of a Replenishing Relationship

Consider one of your 'easy, 'replenishing relationships. The kind of person who is always so easy for you to be around. Think of someone right now...before continuing.

Ask yourself WHY you feel good around them and list your thoughts under the replenishing side.

When we feel good around someone it is because they make it easy for us to be ourselves. In fact, we even feel like it's safe enough to reveal aspects of ourselves we may not share with others. We know we won't be judged, or criticised, or gossiped about. We may even feel UNDERSTOOD, which makes us feel APPRECIATED.

It could be because this person makes you laugh. Their humour helps you detach from care just long enough for the burden to feel lighter. They feel like 'home'. They make it easy for us to feel connected to who we really are.

Also write down what you think this person usually feels when in your company...and how they feel after having shared time with you.

Are you replenishing for them as well?

In looking at these types of relationships, it will become obvious that these people accept responsibility for themselves, and never manipulate through bribery, fear, money, conditional acceptance, let alone coerce through emotional blackmail. Such ploys are not required. Everything is open and honest, and sometimes uncomfortably frank, but because you know the love is there, speaking the truth is not only acceptable, but DEEPLY DESIRED.

You always know where you stand-LOVED

Finish this list with whatever details you think of and then, shift to the thought of a 'draining' relationship.

DID YOU FEEL THE IMMEDIATE SHIFT IN YOUR ENERGY?????

I did, and I wasn't even thinking of someONE in particular...just the idea of those types of scenarios.

Characteristics of a Draining Relationship

These people usually complain a lot, but have all the answers for why they can't be helped. Healthy people can have a mood, or season in this state but these guys pitch a tent and set up camp here! They might as well build a solid structure, coz it's quite possible that they're never gonna move...

They want you to 'fix' things, coz you obviously had everything handed to you on a silver platter, but you know you can't, coz they are a parasite, and will never have whatever it is they think you should give them. Draining relationships are unhealthy for everyone involved, and it is only the people who are used to 'toxic, codependent love' that feel any need of them. Healthy people feel their leaching power, they will bleed you to death...just like the energy shift I mentioned.

They can also be cruel, intimidating, abusive...these extremes require a bit more depth...so contact me for more on those.

Write how they make you feel, the level of personal freedom you have in their company or not, the boundaries they cross. ALL the shitty detail... when you're done...revisit the good stuff...before going ahead.

Don't Throw the Baby Out With the Bathwater

Ok, so obviously you're gonna encounter all types. Not all relationships are ideal, but ALL PEOPLE ARE PRECIOUS.

These 'monsters' are there in your life, don't get mad now...because YOU LET THEM IN. It's time for some house cleaning. If you look at these relationships, you'll find these people have unrealistic expectations, cross boundaries and don't regard your time as valuable. They've become accustomed to interacting with you this way.

Use the standard of your better relationships to gauge them.

1. Draw up your healthy boundaries...learn to say 'no'. Not out of anger...but just 'no'. You don't need to explain, or justify or appease...just let your 'yes' be 'yes' and your 'no' be 'no'. This will do away with resentment on your part instantly, and it really doesn't matter what they think of you.And it will teach you to let other people to say ‘no’ without guilt or explanation as well. This type of freedom is very important.

2.Make a genuine offer to help with permanent change if you feel that connected, but if they're not ready to help themselves..move on GUILT-FREE.

3. If you do genuinely want them in your life, this is the way they can learn to interact with you in a powerfully positive way. It will also potentially teach them how to duplicate the process of accepting responsibility.

The best thing a HEALTHY person can do is accept responsibility in preserving their own state, and in doing so, make choices to position others for the same opportunity. You can't make their choice for them.

In Conclusion...for now

If you have to live in stressful conditions...take a pen and paper, and try to find things about that person and household that you like...or once liked. Try to imagine them that way again. In your thinking of them, do you utmost to look ONLY at those things you can appreciate, even if it's something as minor as the shape of their ears!

This isn't easy, but like all things, you can get better with practice, AND it should lead to more worthy of liking in your eyes. If you remain diligent and consistent, you should see a change in them, when they are with you. When they're not with you, relax knowing, that they're probably not in the state you like anyway!

I am surrounded by fantastic relationships. The ones that aren't 'healthy' just don't stick.

This coming week show your love flamboyantly and freely. It doesn't have to be expensive, but CREATIVE is good. Get in touch for ideas using CTT!

Footnote: My family was one of the most torn apart groups of dysfunctional people I knew. What exists today was not 'handed to us'...we had to envisage and design it!

Make the fault the feature Pt3 &4

I actually have an even better approach to this blog/vlog thing!!
Hang in till next week...you may even like playing the game!

One more part to this one...stay tuned..

till then,

Make the fault the feature Pt2

hey guys...there are two more instalments for this content...that compliment the written blog.

Hope you enjoy them!

p.s. don't get blase now, will you!?

Lisa

Make the fault the feature

Make the Fault the Feature.
The Only Certainty in Life is Uncertainty.
CHANGE is the one ongoing constant.
So how is it possible to ever FEEL secure? IS it possible?
It is indeed!

Controlling Chaos
Creativity is about being able to flow with change in a productive, even proactive, way. Rather than being a ‘victim’ of uncertainty, it is entirely possible, and I believe even intended, that we become INSTIGATORS of our own evolution.
When a person has practiced approaching life from the creative perspective, change becomes an adventure, simply because it becomes an opportunity to explore new frontiers, whether in relationships, family or business.
The fascinating ‘game’ of exploration and discovery takes hold of our minds.
Earl Nightingale says “...our part is to look with new eyes, the eyes of creation...and become ‘Collaborators in Creation’...”

When you are a conscious contributor in being the agent of change, you will immediately feel more positively toward it. Being willing and open to accept that responsibility is the first step.
But how does creativity bring us to this place of confidence in crisis?

Everything is Ever Evolving & the "Picasso Principle"

Since everything is energy and life is ever growing, the greatest resistance anyone can have to a fulfilling life or business, is to want to stay as they are! We cannot stop the flow of change. NEVER! What we can do is learn how to ride the tides...and this, my friend, we can master!

The skills that ‘playing with creativity’ hones and develops are those that embrace and initiate change. Learning how to objectively see a situation or ‘problem’ from multiple perspectives will allow several, even countless , potential solutions to emerge in your thinking.( I refer to this practice as the “Picasso Principle”, because Pablo Picasso, in his early Cubism work, presented flat versions of 3D images through multi facetted pieces placed adjacent to each other.)

Our friend Earl Nightingale, calls this perspective “Intelligent Objectivity”, and I also call it ‘Detached Observation’. It is about removing yourself from the centre of something and viewing it from without, turning it around and considering all the elements from various viewpoints.

In DECONSTRUCTING something this way, we become aware of ‘hidden information’, and this stimulates new ideas-especially when rearranged into new positions.

Make the Fault the Feature

When crisis dictates change, it helps to view the closing cycles as being transformed, rather than ‘ending’ or ‘dying’. When loss is our focus, it’s hard to see the present, let alone potential, gains...and there are ALWAYS gains. Change doesn’t have to come through calamity, either. New life brings about as much ‘shaking’. Just ask anyone who has had their first baby!

And this is a valid point: personally, I have taken the practice of viewing the cycles of life from this positive perspective that even when something I have so thoroughly enjoyed begins to ebb, I have no fear or regret. I know I have exploited as much opportunity to experience it and grow as I could. I am FULL of gratitude for it, and even if I may miss that old ‘way’ or ‘form’, I am SO excited at what is coming forth, that no sense of diminishing dampens my outlook.

I have literally trained myself to see ‘ends’ as beginnings. What could have been considered a ‘bad’ thing...or a fault (because I didn’t want to ‘let it go’), has become the shining feature, whose benefit brings excitement , adventure and more fulfilment. Through this attitude, I’ve entered joyfully into the flow of change, and this entry came as a result of being able to view things differently, through the “eyes of Creation”.

Habituate to Habitate-the Cure for Instability

I have been practicing Creative Thinking Technology (CTT) long before I ever packaged it and gave it that name. These thinking processes and practices are well and truly part of my wiring, and I know they are responsible for all the GOOD is see everywhere in my life-because I choose HOW I see.

From birth, one trauma after another, one enormous shift after another, one environment after another and even one tragedy after another, created the perfect place for me to learn and master these skills. I feel like an expert in transition. A shape shifter. Now, I’d go as far as saying I’m addicted to the rush of growing through change. Stagnation is something I heard of once, and no more!

Things like CTT can be used in one-off situations with purposeful intent to generate results, but it’s no substitute to a life of Intentional Design. Obepro provides a perfect ‘playing field’ to get creative, with its innovative approach to home business. To make the most of such a cutting edge opportunity, hone those cutting edge skills to wield this fantastic tool. The staples of good business building are in your hands, but the way you build can be as fresh as each sunrise. Being Creative will help you ‘think on feet’ in any contingency and bring you to a whole new depth of personal assurance. AND its FUN!!

**http://inspireyourattire.com/products-page/ using coupon code "DIYDesigner" for $2 disc or in Oz, email cory@inspireyourattire.com with "We want to inspire Our Attire"

For other videos that accompany this blog go to http://facebook.com/lisashah or http:/youtUbe.com/lisashahescape

DIY Designer Living

Today's thought, as you can see, looks at the idea of "doing it yourself" in the area of creating your own lifestyle.

Your Part in being Free

As a creative creature (humans are), I have the capacity to conceive HOW I would like my life to look. As far as your life goes...you are the resident and only true expert, coz you know what makes you feel GOOD.

Happily, you are the only one who can do anything about it. J

Lots of people spout off about wanting to be free to live their lives as they choose. But freedom isn’t about abdicating responsibility. It is entirely the opposite. It is about accepting FULL ACCOUNTABILITY.

You still wanna be free??

You are the only one who can use your ability. It is an awesome responsibility.

Zig Ziglar

In deciding to get DYI Freedom, I have taken on that commitment to myself to accept responsibility for all that’s in my life. Trust me, it WILL take that level of honest grit. That resolve will suck every little self deceiving strategy out of you, so you can address it, and be truly free.

Our part is to work with the process of recreating ourselves as we desire to be-beginning with how it ‘looks’ to be that person. How it feels, and why it feels so good. Give it REAL thought. Your motives will become clear, and they need be very clear.

Who could you dare to be???? Why? What’s your legacy going to look like?

And are you prepared to carry that kind of responsibility, or at least willing to grow into the greatness of someone who can?

Obepro’s part-inspire and empower

I’ve heard Jason talk a lot lately about ‘changing the world’. It starts with what’s inside.

“Be the change you wish to see in the world” Mahatma Ghandi

One thing about having five kids is that it takes no time at all to see which behaviours are acceptable in them and which are not. Simply multiply the outcome!! It’s also a mirror back on us, and reveals what really is acceptable and what isn’t-if we want to leave a legacy of greatness.

We want our businesses duplicatable, but are we prepared for all that we are to be mimicked? When we look at ourselves, would our behaviours and attitudes serve others well if they took them on? How accountable are we really prepared to be?

Jason has such an enormous drive and vision for Obepro. I know his heart for seeing it work to bring benefits to people in ways too vast to measure easily. He wants to change the way the world ‘sees’ home based business and make it open to all! Win:win:win

I feel likewise about changing how people look at Creative Thinking, so they can discover the limitless power made available to us through it. We live for these things. We give all for these truths we want to share.

We are determined to BE the change we wish to see.

You have absolute control over but one thing, and that is your thoughts. If you fail to control your own mind, you may be sure you will control nothing else.” – Napoleon Hill

Don't be a prisoner of your own mind.

FORGET controlling anything external. It’s not necessary.

Who you are begins in your thinking...conscious, but moreso, the subconscious. Creative processes help you locate and shape those sub psyche thoughts ON PURPOSE.

How do you want You to look in life?

How do you want Obepro to fit into that version of you?

How much real freedom are you willing to know?

It will depend on the level of your control over your thoughts!

Stay tuned for some good tips on “HOW”!! J LOVE you groovers!

Lisa in Oz

http://lisashahescape.com

Draw up your Blueprint

Hey everyone!

How exciting to be here and be able to share some thoughts with you all this way!

For those of you who don't know, my field of expertise is CREATIVITY.

The two things I love MOST about being creative are

a) the FUN factor...it FEELS so damned GOOD! It fascinates people too!

And

b) it makes fulfilling my dreams entirely possible.

What's not to like? lol

Ok...so WHY does it feel good??

Because you are designed to CREATE!

"Life begets life." If a cell isn't expanding into two, it's 'dead' (changes form). We're growing or dying.

Creating is the energy and outcome of growth. It causes new life to come forth and is the ability to deliver and sustain such life and growth.

The body is constantly regenerating itself cell by cell-COMPLETELY.

Whether by default or by design...we ARE creating our lives-every tiny element in every moment.

It feels so GOOD to be alive when we are experiences NEW adventures and experiences BECAUSE they are expanding us with data that sends our senses soaring and gives us even more to fashion our dreams around.

Living a creative life brings an enormous sense of fulfillment.

Living the life of YOUR CREATIVE CHOICE is truly living.

And how does being creative make our dreams do-able?

Ideas are the expansion cells of our minds. They have the power to 'take us anywhere!

Ideas excite us. They build passion and enable us to shape our purpose into a sharply focussed objective and a finely tuned machine...just like ObePro. ( or CTT! lol)

As a creator, you are limitless, and the more your realise how powerful a creator you are, the more you see how attainable your dreams are FOR YOU. they even start getting bigger! :-)

Through practising Creative Thinking Technology processes (which ANYone can do), you can develop the conviction that YOU can devise whatever is required to do whatever you want whenever you need to.

Stephen Covey Snr says "You don't need money to make money, you need Creativity"

If creativity can be used to make money, what else can it do?

Once you start believing you CAN have your dreams, you'll start knowing the courage it takes to give all for them. There is no Plan B. There is no contingency plan. You want your BEST life!

I heard Will Smith say "Know what you believe and be willing to die for it"

I KNOW ObePro is BUILT on this philosophy. I know I am. It's the stuff of lasting legacies.

It may seem like a big leap from being creative to this-but this is where "awakening, arousing and animating the creator within you" will take you.

And you'll just love the 'rush' ! lol

Take Action

Hopefully this has tweaked your desire a little, and I've awakened and aroused you even just a tiny bit! Now animate yourself and take some action!

Seriously, with pen in hand write down whatever comes to mind with this question.

How do I want my life to look?

What do I see myself doing/having/sharing?

Who is in my life? In my circle of friends and business associates and family?

Where do I live..and so on?

Draw diagrams, describe how it feels. Just give yourself half an hour to lose yourself in this creative play.

An architect/builder needs a blueprint to give substance to his dream of a home. This is the beginning of your blueprint.

You can also check out my Facebook albums, "My Designer Calendar" to see how I use this process to INTENTIONALLY create all kinds of great outcomes.

Have an awesome day!

You guys and gals are so much more AMAZING than you yet know!

Lisa

http://lisashahescape.com

Happy Creative New Year

Hello all you groovers and groovettes!

Welcome, welcome, welcome to 2010!!

I am VERY happy to be here, and to be living my life and enjoying all the wonderful experiences that make up each moment.

And yeah...I actually mean that! :-)

LET'S GET PERSONAL

So, what I thought I'd do is share a little about CTT-Creative Thinking Technology. I never want to be starchy and formal-just wouldn't be me. Creative and colourful are more my way, and dangerously transparent. I believe in integrity and excellence, but this blog will likely be quite personal in content at times, so be warned.

In the same way, that I am my favourite guinea pig, and I test all my theories out on myself, so I also use a lot of illustration from my own life. This is what gives me authentic power to speak about the content I share. I live it! And where I've not perfected the practice of it, I will be always committed to doing that.

I'll make mistakes, like everyone does, but I will learn from them, and I'll make an example of myself that way too. So...please, be gracious. :-)

CREATIVITY VERSUS ARTISTIC

As the video states, creativity and artistic are not the same, although these two terms are commonly used almost interchangeably. Most dictionaries agree that for something to be creative it should be "novel and of value in meeting a situational need". I can think of lots of artistic things that are not 'novel' in the sense of innovative, nor considered all that valuable.

In fact, the value of an artwork is VERY subjective. Value in anything for that matter is all about perception-but I'm getting ahead of myself!

I LOVE the Arts, practice in several different fields of the Arts, and even love blurring the boundaries between in very clever ways ( a conceptual artist), but it is true that a painting can be done mechanically, with little to no creativity, just like a piano recital can be dry and unmoving.

It is the same of any discipline. Science, mathematics, literature, music, dance...all of them. The discipline is for helping us to understand the principals of the subject, master the tools needed, and learn to wield all with skill, but having done that, it's time to EXPLORE EXPRESSION. We learn our 'ABCs', in hope that we will learn to communicate and comprehend through words-express our ideas, and enjoy being stimulated by the thoughts and ideas of others.

My point: any subject can be dull and boring, and any subject can be fascinating and adventurous! A creative outlook will turn everything into an epic journey of joyful discovery.

AWAKEN, AROUSE AND ANIMATE

NOTHING LIGHTS OUR FIRE LIKE FASCINATION.It awakens us.

Desire ignites us with a wondrous sense of invigorating energy. We are aroused. We feel ALIVE.

Creativity uses ideas to awaken passion, and passion is our life blood, spurring us on to be animated and take action toward our dreams.

THE NECESSITY OF CREATIVITY

When creative exploration and expression are stilted or squelched, so much of the psyche gets buried. Sometimes, never to productively surface again in that life. This breaks my heart.

We so NEED our dreams. We need to know we can attain them, or at least be free to pursue them. They are our freedom.

A person on fire with the passion of their desire for authentic freedom is irresistably beautiful and attractive. Such healthy pursuits will draw out our best from core, stretch us in every way, and expand us into who we truly are...powerful and heroic co-creators.

The practice of creativity keeps our hearts and minds open to these possibilities, gives us courage in the face of fear, and will even show us how to be intentional Master Designers of our lives.

Come, journey with me awhile, and I'll remind you of your greatness, and show you how to reconnect with it on purpose. Creative Thinking Technology ( CTT) is for those who want to TRULY live abundantly.

2010

Get ready for the ride of your life!